There's a big difference between vomit and puke.

Things I've learned this week.
  • There's a big difference between vomit and puke. Vomit alludes to a more gentle method of unloading your stomach contents onto the carpet. Less messy. Puke, on the other hand, signifies what's been going on in my house all week. Puke tends to appear at 2 a.m., has the flight capabilities of a 747 and sounds about like one crashing when it hits the floor. There's nothing gentle about puking. And, there's no alarm clock that will wake you up quicker than the sound of puke gurgling up your child's throat.
  • For those who claim they can't stand to read what I write but continue to load and reload my blog incessantly all day long... Thanks! It's working wonders for my numbers and ranking on search engines. I went from a little more than 1000 hits a month to over 700 hits in about a week. Again, thank you. I'm feeling your love.
  • The best quote I've heard in awhile. My cute little niece turned four this week. After she blew out the candles, her mom asked her what she wished for. "For all of my family to be nice to me." Wow... yeah. Well, me too Miss Cutey Patooty!
  • I've finally learned my lesson. I will no longer associate with women who look a helluva lot like men. It's just too much trouble. No story. Just a new rule in my book is all.
  • My dad is contemplating buying a travel camper. I am beyond excited. It made me remember a dream that I used to think about a lot when I was in my teens and early 20s. I wanted to retire and travel all around the United States with just a map (or a GPS now) and unlimited fuel. Stopping and going on a whim. I related this new development to the hottest guy I know. To my surprise, he said he had thought about the same thing. Suddenly, I felt a whole lot cooler. I'll be looking him up for a major road trip in about 25 years. I call shotgun.
  • Everyone should do Friend Rhinoplasty every once in awhile. If you have "friends" who are sticking their noses in your business too much, wanting to tell you what to do, looking down their noses at you, etc. Just cut them off. Don't worry. Their big Pinocchio friend noses will grow back but they'll tote them elsewhere to sniff out something about someone else that will make them feel better about themselves.
  • Men vs. Women. At 17, the boys spend the majority of time talking about whether or not they're having sex. At 17, the girls try to avoid saying whether or not they are having sex. At age 35, men are trying to avoid saying whether or not they are having sex . At age 35, women are spending the majority of their time talking about whether or not they're having sex. Will women and men ever be on the same plane? Evidence of the cruel joke on humans with men reaching their peak in their late teens/early 20s and women reaching theirs in their 30s/40s. Cruel joke. Very cruel.
  • The Westin on Peachtree is officially one of my top 10 favorite places to be in the world. Sure, there are nicer hotels in Atlanta. But, there's something about the Westin... Of course, next time I go I'll make sure they're not doing an open casting call for America's Got Talent next door first thing in the morning. Not the friendly wake-up call that I was hoping for.
  • When you're with some people, time stands still in a magical way. When you're with others, time passes at a breakneck speed. Then, there are those who, when you are with them, time just seems to drag. Fill your relationship basket with as many of the first two that you can. Only put in those people who fall into the last category if you absolutely have to. Your life will be better for it.
  • Sometimes just expressing a genuine concern for another person's happiness, health and well-being is worth more than all of the roses and chocolate you could buy. Add that to your list this Valentine's Day. Speaking from the heart is always worth more than spending from the wallet.
  • After saying something quite terrible and quite funny about an acquaintance who just pisses me off. "Did you hear that? That creaking sound? I think that may have been the gates of Hell opening up a little wider to let me in."
Smile, folks. It's all good!



  1. I Love you too!!!!

  2. So how did you place with the America's Got Talent auditions, and when will it air? ;-)

  3. Awww... I love you, too! :)

    lol!!! I'm afraid the only talents I have wouldn't air well on television. :) My other talent is for pissing people off and you can see that right here. No need to change the channel!

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