What is love?
Poets spend their lives languishing over lines of prose trying to capture the essence of love. Lovers attempt to describe it but often flail about terms you usually hear in love songs. Song writers twist it, rhyme it and set it to the beat.
It has been only recently that the Grasshopper has made a revelation. Another Stephiphany on the Highway to Hell. Love is about soul.
A few years after the Divorcetant Debut, The Grandaddy tried to impart his fatherly wisdom. He urged me to look for a mate that wasn't "crazy." You laugh. But, the old guy was serious.
I did giggle at his attempt to offer wisdom. I quickly informed him that there isn't a single person who's made it to my age without a crap load of baggage dragging behind them, including his youngest daughter. It isn't about finding someone who doesn't have something going on mentally, I said. It is about finding someone whose craziness you can handle and they can handle yours. It goes both ways.
The gruffalo that he is, he just "hmmmphd" and changed the conversation.
When you go through a nasty breakup, people will say that your pride is broken. Your heart is broken. Your dreams are broken. Your life is broken. They will tell you that it will heal in time.
The truth is it wounds your soul. It breaks your soul.
It leaves ghosts and demons rattling around in the attic that is your head. You have to work to silence them and their memories of the past. It isn't easy. They have a snarky way of showing up when you least expect them, long after you've convinced yourself that they're gone.
But finding your "person" can be almost magical. Imagine being stranded on the ice roads of Alaska and suddenly being catapulted onto a lounge chair on a tropical island. It's kind of like that.
By middle age, each of us is broken in some way. By love. By life. By careers. By family. By friends. By health. You name it. We've all had our armor chipped and sawed at for so long that there are scars, missing limbs and oozing wounds.
The trick is to find someone who understands your brokenness. Someone who doesn't mind taking the time to gently bind up the broken pieces with you. Someone whose own brokenness you also see and accept in the same way.
Call it a meeting of kindred spirits. Call it a mingling of soul mates. Whatever it is, it is special and is to be clung to with a might more forceful than a cat in a shaking tree.
For me, it is a calmness. Which is good and bad. It's bad for my writing at times. Because, the Grasshopper's mind usually goes a million miles an hour. Multitasking thoughts, to do lists, blog ideas, song lyrics and anything else that decides to bounce around the hollows. My thoughts like to hear their own echoes when they bounce off one another.
But, suddenly there is silence.
There is peace.
My mind that had used all of those thoughts to distract itself and to protect itself suddenly finds itself comfortable.
Then I'm left to contemplate how one human being can move such mountains with such ease.
The scariest part of all of that you will begin learning to appreciate the lyrics of One Direction songs. That's a direction I definitely did not foresee in my own life. Not that I listen, mind you. But, I can appreciate the lyrics.
There's a great quote by Zora Neale Hurston --
The Grasshopper is no longer hiding. Let the sun shine in."Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place."
What about you? Maybe 2015 is the time for your to crawl out of that emotional bunker and let the warm sun of emotional connectedness soothe your soul. It could be. Yes, this could be the year.