I Can Explain Crazy Cat Ladies

I'm single. I've been single for a long time. My divorcetant debut was in 2008. And, it's been an interesting road.

When I hit 40, it occurred to me that The Grandaddy was probably right.

"You're the kind of person who is meant to be alone," he said one day a few years earlier.

Yeah. It kinda stung. But I have to admit the old guy had a good point. It won't be long and I'll be divorced as long as I was married. Truth be told, the idea of getting married again scares the spit out of the Grasshopper. Too many things can go wrong too easily.

However, being alone isn't all that bad.

By the time you're 40, there are certain things that you should know. For instance, you should know the difference between being lonely and being alone. You can be alone and not be lonely. Unfortunately, I know all too well that you can be lonely and not be alone. There's a lot of sadness in that last one.

I know many women my age who are married and lonely. Their lives are essentially that of a married single mother. The husband/dad is noticeably absent and inattentive to both his wife and kids.

There's a lot of truth to the saying that you need to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone else. I've dated some of those guys who aren't happy with themselves and are looking for a woman to bring them happiness. All the fantastic sex in the world won't mend that gaping wound. Those guys (or women) will suck the life right out of you. They'll drag you, either kicking and screaming or gently without you even realizing it, down in their dark holes to slosh around in the bowels of misery.

Whether you're married or single, you have to be happy with yourself. No one can give you that. Now, notice I didn't say no one could take it away? They sure as hell can. And, they will if you let them. You've got to guard that happiness with all you've got.

Conversations with other women sometimes turn to grilling the single chick. Some women think you just can't be happy without a man around. I guess that may be true for some women. But, piles of his dirty clothes, him farting in the middle of the night and forcing myself to shave 80% of my body on a regular basis means that I'm not settling for a man just because he can ejaculate to the tune of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I need more than that.

I deserve more than that. So do all of you -- both men and women.

You don't have to be alone to be lonely. You don't have to be lonely because you're alone.

Happiness and contentment is in you. It lives in you. It does not happen to you.

So, yes, I've accepted that I'll probably be alone the rest of my life. I've already picked out a few dozen weird looking cat derivatives that I'll adopt. Cats don't give a cat damn if you're happy. All they want to do is eat and scratch something every once in awhile. Well, a lot like men. Yeah. Crazy cat ladies make more sense now, don't they?

Give this song a listen...

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