Little Me's Wisdom

My kids are spending their summer days in the care of The Grandaddy Who Doesn't Want to Be on That Damn Internet.

Which means that I get to traverse the same roads that I grew up on every morning and every evening. It also means I get plenty of travel time with Little Me and Little You. Today was exceptionally entertaining...

Little Me was busy discussing NASCAR on the way home tonight. I generally block out most of these car conversations. There's just so much I want to hear about Jeff Gordon and Little Me's assessments of different cars' amount of horsepower. He's also taken an interest in talking about what "men" are supposed to do. Like I said, I can usually just listen every few sentences or so and keep up with the conversation while thinking about something else. But sometimes something he says grabs my attention instantly. Like...

Little Me: "One thing I've learned from Jeff Gordon is that men know when to pull out."

Yep. My attention was instantly all his.

Me: "Really?"

Little Me: "Yes. When something goes wrong, a man needs to know when to pull out."

At that point, this gutter goat was pretty much choking on her own spit trying not to laugh. Hey, he's six. I know that he wasn't talking about what I was thinking. I knew he was talking about a car race and a driver pulling out off the track when his car had trouble.

Usually, he can't see my face when he says things that amuse me, however, I recently switched the kids. I was tired of him climbing over his sister to get out of the car at school and them scrapping in the car pool lane over someone bumping the other. So, we moved him to the other side where he could get out easier. Neither of them was happy. Neither wanted to be in the spot where the other had dropped fries, spilled drinks and smashed skittles into the carpet. Neither had a choice. The upside is that I can now see Little Me better to monitor his sneaky, snarky attacks on his sister. The downside is that he can see me in the rear view mirror and see the road better. Thus, he can also offer me "helpful" suggestions on how I should be driving. He also has exceptional eyesight and can keep a very accurate account of what speed I'm driving.

And, in this case, he could see me trying to suppress my laughter. Which he took as me not believing the words of wisdom he had gleaned by watching car race around a track in a circle a few hundred times every Sunday.

His widened eyes and a serious expression on his face showed his frustration. "Momma, it's true! Men need to know hot to pull out!"

Me: "Baby, I totally agree. Men definitely need to know when to pull out." (yes, I snickered a little as I said it.)

With that, he was satisfied. And, I was left horrified with the depths of the depravity of my mind.

Little Me spoke a lot of truth tonight. Men do need to know when to pull out. It would solve a lot of problems.

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  1. I kept thinking of the movie, "Airplane," when they said, "Pull out! Pull out!"
    Sorry I can't get into NASCAR. The rednecks get to arguing that "my driver is better than your driver," and the next thing you know a race riot breaks out.


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