There are some of my sweet friends who know something is up without me having to utter a word. That's a special friendship right there. That's a friendship to cherish and hold close to your heart.
I had one of "those days" today. The specifics really don't matter. Of course, I know some of you would want to hear but they really aren't either worth sharing or I just don't feel comfortable doing so.
I warned my two charges of their mom's foul disposition when I picked them up. I think it's only fair that you give those you love a heads up when you have a bad day. That way, they can practice life-sustaining avoidance of their grumpy caretaker. They wanted to know how bad it was. "One of the worst since the day I was born," I joked. Powerful words for two youngsters who think that dinosaurs were still at the zoo when I was their age.
It was so bad that I felt tears of fatigue, desperation and hopelessness sting my eyes while in CVS this afternoon. Four pharmacies and not one had Little Me's medication. Nor did they give a flying rat's ass either. The last one said that they couldn't (or wouldn't) check with another CVS to find out if they had it before I made the trip. At that moment, I felt like sitting down in the floor right there and crying. But, I figured that I would likely wake up in an unfashionably simple white coat with a tray of food I had to eat with my fingers, so I drug myself out of there and on home.
After coming in from work and overseeing a few routine details as warden of the Smithsonian Institution, I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch and slept. Until just now. That's unusual for a gal who seldom sits still. Seldom sleeps more than a few hours. It was a rough, rough, rough day.
I did have a few brief times I woke up to find Little Me gently stroking my hair, kissing me on my forehead or whispering that he loves me in my ear. I can't even explain how it feels to wake to such a sweet surprise from one of the two greatest loves of your life. Those children are reminders that while people will hurt you (sometimes even them), most people are generally good. Sometimes you have to look for it or prod it out, but I believe that there's more good than bad in just about everyone's heart.
When I finish this, I'll head up to "the nest" and finish what I started earlier. As is usually my procedure on days like these, by the time I wake up tomorrow today will be just a memory and my soul will be revived and ready to face the day.
I did want to share a couple of my favorite inspirations with you. A friend noted tonight that a lot of people he knew had bad days today. Hopefully, if you did too you'll garner something from these words. And, here's hoping that we'll wake to a better day and those of us who need to (that would be me) will make better choices the next go around.
All I know right now is that Karma is a bitch and she is evidently toting around my picture in her pocket.
"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
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