I'm taking a shine to Sheen

"It's my cup, don't worry 'bout what's in the cup. It's my cup."    Lil Wayne
 Let's face it. Most everyone loves a train wreck. And, you can take that to the bank.

Marilyn Monroe made a career out of it. So did Anna Nicole Smith. Take a gander at Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Lindsey Lohan and Mike Tyson. Americans love that stuff. We eat it up. We're obese from gobbling it up and begging for seconds.

And Charlie Sheen knows it. Give the guy a break.

"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars." Sheen said in an interview.

Yeah. Some of that sounds normal. But, I agree, some of that quote sounds pretty freaking past the edge of mental stability. Those Hollywood people aren't like you and me though. Just look at what they name their children. That alone should tell you that they technically operate on a different planet (Plant Hollywood?) than the rest of us. And, granted men are from Mars.

Honestly, I'm more traumatized by the creepy pedophilic and obviously OCD aura of Mr. Rogers and his imaginary friendly neighborhood than I am the strangely amusing rantings of Sheen. Isn't it weird that he was always asking kids to run away from home and be his special "neighbor"?

On a different note, Mother Theresa did a lot of good for the world. The wisdom from this lady of grace just drips from her quotes and teachings. But make no mistake about it. If Mother Theresa had broken the habit and went sans panties, opened a meth lab in the orphanage and started whoring around Calcutta, she would have gotten a lot more press. She could have reinvented herself into a media mogul and booted Demi Moore off the throne as the most popular MILF.

It's sad. But, we all know it is the truth.

There's nothing we like better than someone else's dirty laundry. Hell, some people will show up at your house with a box of Tide under one arm while clutching a bottle of Downy in their hand just to get the inside scoop. People are just like that.

People know their own lives are screwed up. It makes them feel better to think that perhaps someone else's life is a little more screwed up than their own. It's called coping.

In this case, it's called entertainment. And, eventually, it will be called rolling in the bucks.

A month ago were you talking about Charlie Sheen at work? Did you overhear his name in conversations? Did you watch his sitcom? Today, you can't escape sound bites, news clips, magazine spreads, commentators, game day psycho analysis, etc.

But, mark my words. The world is about to take a shine to Sheen.

Hollywood, pass the checkbook. The rock star just belted out his first solo hit and there's more to come from this traveling road show.

And, for all of you normal folks... don't try this at home.

More shining Sheen snafus:
  •  I’m not bi-polar, “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”
  • "I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
  • "It's been a tsunami of media and I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."
  • "Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words - imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
  • "I'm proud of what I created. Why wouldn't I be? I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them!"
  • "Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."
  • "People can't figure me out, they can't process me, I don't expect them to. You can't process me with the normal brain."
  • "I'm an F-18 bro and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground."
  • "I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows...I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth."
  • "I feel more alive, I feel more focused, I feel more energetic. I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."
  • "Everybody thinks I should be, like, begging for my job back. And I'm just going to forewarn them that it's everybody else that's going to be begging me for their job back."
  • “I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer -- I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero."
  • “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA,” “[I survived drug addiction] because I'm me. I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”
  • "Dying is for fools. Amateurs."
Shine on, Charlie. Shine on!

3 comments:

  1. Wow, does this guy drink too much Red Bull, or does he pick his thoughts from this site:
    http://attrition.org/misc/affirmation.html

    I liked him in Hot Shots, but I've never seen his new show, and I'm tired of hearing about --any-- celebrity's bad behavior. If we ignore and and fail to give it press, it won't become such role model material to our youth.

    --Dean

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm afraid we're all much too sick to ever get away from celebrities and their misbehavior headlining the press. They always say "if it bleeds, it leads." It can also be said "if it smells, it sells."

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you must watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Why your ex will NEVER come back...

    ReplyDelete