I'm thinking of a four letter word...

Tonight, I feel like a four-letter word. And, it may surprise you that the word I feel like is perfectly acceptable to say around my little ones.

Which started me thinking. When we say the phrase, "four letter word", most people naturally assume that you're referring to a cuss word. Not necessarily so.

 
LOVE is a four letter word. Overused, I agree, but it fits the model here.

LUST is often confused with LOVE by many singles. While lust may be a synonym for love for the dating masses, for some married people I know, lust can be the antonym of love.

LIAR is a common word used to describe a great number of men, attached or unattached, that lurk in today's dating scene. It can also be applied to women but it is a male dominated word. 

LUCK is a reference to the phenomenon of finding a man who does not exhibit the qualities of the above word, LIAR. It is an even bigger word if he isn't attached to another woman, is faintly attractive, has a decent personality, will actually take you out on a real date, opens doors for women and does not have a lengthy criminal history.


LOSE is what happens when a man plays games. We women are smarter than you think. We know about your game. We play along. But, one day when you least expect it we'll call you on that game and you will have... 

LOST a good woman because you couldn't make up your mind and grow the @$#@ up. 

TALK means...well...I don't know what in the hell it means. Men like to say they're "talking" to a woman. Whatever. My guess is that talk really means...

PLAY is what men do when they're either using a girl or he is too much of a chicken shit to tell a girl how he feels. Danger: see GAME notation above.

CALL is that simple act of communicating via the telephone. You start by dialing a woman's numbers. When she answers, you talk to her. No, you don't have to have anything special to say. Just call to check and see how she's doing and tell her that you were thinking of her. It really is that easy.

TEXT is a way to communicate random thoughts, etc. Beware: It is easy to misinterpret texts. If you ever suspect a miscommunication has occurred, you should take immediate measures to clarify the situation. It is also a convenient way for a player to keep all of his girls organized. He can simply scroll back through texts to remember who he talked to last and what was said.

CAKE as in "You can't have your cake and eat it, too." You men know what I mean. Make a choice. If it isn't the right one, so what, you can try again later. There's always cakes hanging out at the bakery. Hint: Don't be fooled by the frosting.

TAKE the blame in a relationship when it's yours to take. I'm tired of hearing the same old stories everywhere I go. Women...it is NOT always your fault no matter what these turds try to tell you.

OPEN doors for women. Come on... Are you kidding me? Be a gentleman. Open the door for your woman. Trust me on this one. She'll notice and you'll get instant points.

WEAR cologne. Or don't. Just don't ask me out if you're not going to. I love a man who smells nice. It is intoxicating to a woman. And, after you leave, she'll still be able to smell you. It's like leaving behind a calling card to her heart. Our noses really are that smart (or stupid as the case may be). It's like adding an exclamation point to your already wonderful self.

DUMB (usually followed by ass). Okay, I can't really say this around my kids. But, I can say half of it. This is another term of affection for a man I'm currently dating but that I'm about to stop "talk"ing to.

TACT. I wanted to say class but it didn't fit. Guys have a little. Borrow some if you need to. Learn to treat a woman right. Remember, you're not the only set of balls swinging in your town. Stop listening to your buddies. Do what feels right to you. After all, when you're 80 and pooping in your disposable underwear, it will be that woman you treated right who will doing whatever needs to be done to take care of the love of her life. Your friends, most likely, will be dead from something like food poisoning, an infected ingrown hair down there, or loneliness.

But, none of these describe the four-letter word I'm feeling today.

It's DONE. That's right. I'm DONE.

Don't know what that means? Just ask Little Me and Little You. They know what happens right after done.

2 comments:

  1. My Grasshoppa... Done? With What?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ingrown hairs hurt like a sumbitch!

    ReplyDelete